Title: Conception Alternate
Author: Diandra Hollman
E-Mail: diandrahollman@gmail.com
Website: http://diandrahollman.tripod.com
LJ: http://diandrahollman.livejournal.com
Date Finished: 3/8/15
Rating: R? TV-14?
Keywords: Slash, mpreg, labor, Jack/Sawyer
Spoilers: Ha! Yeah, right.
Disclaimer: They don’t belong to me, but I suppose technically 
they belong to fandom now that Darlton and Bad Robot and ABC 
are done with them.
Summary: “How long have you been in labor, Jack?” 
Dedication: To everyone who stuck with me through the original 
epic story. To the Powers That Be and the fandom of the 
greatest, most ground-breaking and mind-boggling show in recent 
broadcast television history, possibly ever. Yes, I might be 
getting nostalgic. *curls in a ball and sobs*
Author's Notes: This started as an alternate scene to 
Christine’s birth in my story “Conception” that takes place in 
an alternate universe where A) Jack is able to give birth 
without a c-section and B) Jack escapes the Others at the same 
time as Sawyer and Kate or is still pregnant when they go back 
for him (you decide). It sort of grew into a short story of its 
own. 

You probably don’t need to read “Conception” to understand 
this. Just reading the above note will pretty much give you all 
the background you need.


Conception – Alternate
By Diandra Hollman

Jack’s progress through the jungle was slow, frustrating all of 
them, but especially Jack himself. His hands clenched into 
fists, his jaw tight every time he stopped to catch his breath. 
Sawyer coaxed him to keep going. They couldn’t afford to stop 
moving, even if they were moving slow.

“I think we lost them,” Kate announced the next time Jack 
stopped, her eyes scanning the jungle behind them over the 
barrel of her stolen rifle. 

“They won’t follow us this far,” Juliet confirmed. “But they 
aren’t the only danger on this island. We should keep moving.”

Nobody could argue with her.

“C’mon, Doc...” Sawyer gripped Jack’s arm, drawing it over his 
shoulders.

Jack made a weak noise of protest and trudged alongside him, 
letting Sawyer support some of his weight.

Sawyer winced. Jack was obviously exhausted – drenched in 
sweat, gasping and stumbling. He radiated unnatural heat, his 
skin flushed a distressing shade of red. His adrenaline had run 
out. Sawyer could only guess how much stress their escape from 
the Others had inflicted on the baby.

They didn’t get much further before Jack stopped again with a 
nearly inaudible cry of pain. He pulled away from Sawyer and 
leaned against the nearest tree, moaning softly between deep, 
unsteady breaths.

Juliet was at his side in an instant, running her hands along 
his swollen abdomen and giving him a ‘don’t fuck with me’ look 
when he tried to slap them away.

“How long have you been in labor, Jack,” she asked with 
measured calm.

Jack just glowered.

“What,” Sawyer spluttered angrily.

“False labor,” Jack protested.

“No, it isn’t,” Juliet said firmly. “How long?”

Jack sighed and caved reluctantly. “Since this morning.”

A string of curses erupted from Sawyer. Juliet ignored it.

“We have to move inland, find water, start a fire...”

“No,” Jack snapped. “We need to get back to the hatch.”

“We’re nowhere near the medical station and Swan station is 
gone.”

Jack squinted at her. “Gone...”

She sighed. “Somebody used the failsafe key. The station 
collapsed. That’s all I know.”

Jack’s face twisted angrily. “When were you gonna tell me 
this?”

“It wasn’t important. No one was hurt. Now I need you to focus. 
How far apart are the contractions?”

Jack closed his eyes and muttered under his breath, his hands 
curling into fists against the tree trunk. When he regained 
control he mumbled “seven minutes.”

Juliet blew out a breath. “Jack, you’re going into active 
labor. You need to...”

“I *need* a sterile environment and my supplies,” Jack snapped.

Juliet’s face hardened. “Jack, listen to me. You are not going 
to make it back to your camp. You will collapse long before you 
reach it and you will have used up all the strength you will 
need to give birth. We will keep moving until we find a water 
supply but we will move slowly and when your body tells you to 
stop you will not fight it.”

Jack stood silent for several moments, eyes closed and Sawyer 
got ready to step in if Jack tried to argue again. He didn’t 
really understand the mechanics of childbirth but he didn’t 
like the idea of Jack being too weak to deliver the baby.

Finally Jack sighed. “Fine. We’ll move inland.”

Juliet nodded and gestured to Sawyer to take his arm again. “If 
the contradictions get any closer than five minutes apart, you 
stop immediately. Do you understand?”

Jack grumbled and gave a vague nod.

Sawyer drew Jack’s arm back over his shoulders and they started 
moving again, slower, Kate a few yards ahead clearing the way 
and Juliet several steps behind. “When this is over I am gonna 
kick your sorry ass for not tellin’ me,” he muttered.

“If I’d told anyone, we wouldn’t’ve gotten this far,” Jack 
panted.

“Yeah, well, at least you had your ‘sterile environment’ back 
there.”

“I had a *hostile* environment back there. I wasn’t about to 
give birth with a dozen Others breathing down my neck if I 
could help it.” He sucked in a breath suddenly, digging his 
fingers into Sawyer’s shoulder.

Sawyer slowed his step, his arm tightening around Jack’s waist. 
“You need to stop?”

“No,” Jack growled through his teeth. “Just...help me time the 
contractions.”

“How do I do that?”

“What time is it?”

Sawyer twisted his arm around, craning his head to look at his 
watch without letting go of Jack. “’bout 4:48.”

Jack nodded, his grip beginning to ease. “That’s one 
contraction. Keep watching the time. Next one should be in 
about six or seven minutes. The closer they get, the closer the 
delivery.”

“So how bad are we talkin’?”

Jack frowned. “What?”

“You givin’ birth in the jungle. How risky is it gonna be?”

Jack blew out a breath. “Women have been giving birth in less 
sterile conditions for centuries. If there are no complications 
it doesn’t make that much of a difference.”

“And if there are complications?”

Jack pressed his lips into a thin line. “A lot of women have 
died in childbirth. A lot of babies were stillborn.” He gripped 
the hand Sawyer had around his waist. “If anything happens to 
me, Juliet will know what to do.”

Sawyer clenched his jaw. Complications or not, he would fight 
back Death himself rather than give Jack up. He slowed again as 
Jack hissed in pain and looked at his watch. “Not quite six 
minutes, Doc,” he muttered. “What happens when it goes under 
five?”

“It just means I’ll be in active labor,” Jack panted. “Maybe. 
It’s pretty arbitrary. The contractions will get stronger and 
closer together. It’ll still probably be hours before I need to 
push.”

Kate doubled back suddenly. “I hear water coming from over 
there.” She nodded in a direction slightly off the path. “How’s 
he doing?”

“I’m fine, Kate,” Jack answered before Sawyer could say 
anything. “This is normal.”

Kate’s expression suggested she didn’t really believe him, but 
knew there was very little she could do about it. At least 
nothing Juliet hadn’t already done.

Several minutes and one contraction later, they reached a small 
waterfall. Jack tried to insist they move a little further, but 
the idea was quickly vetoed by all three of his companions, who 
knew Jack well enough to not trust his objectivity on such 
matters.

“Can you help me gather wood for a fire, James,” Juliet asked 
in a tone that suggested the idea wasn’t really debatable. 
“We’ll need to boil water for sterilizing.”

Sawyer glanced at Kate, who was over by the fall refilling 
Jack’s water bottle. “Shouldn’t you stay with Jack? I’m sure 
Freckles can...”

“Jack will be fine. He shouldn’t need me for a few hours.”

Jack looked back and forth between the two of them and nodded 
to Sawyer. “It’s okay. Go.”

Sawyer hesitated, biting his lip. He didn’t like leaving Jack, 
but it wasn’t like he would be alone. Kate was armed and had a 
deadly protective streak when it came to Jack. Sawyer pulled 
off his watch and wrapped it in Jack’s hand, bending to kiss 
him. “I’ll be right back.”

Jack nodded and looked away before Sawyer even stepped away 
from him, all of his focus turned inward, his free hand 
massaging his abdomen lightly.

Sawyer marched off into the jungle, determined to get this over 
with as quickly as possible. Juliet followed behind him.

“Stop for a minute,” Juliet said when they were a safe distance 
from the fall, her hand reaching out to land gently on Sawyer’s 
shoulder entreatingly. 

Sawyer stopped and glared at her. “Let me guess. We ain’t out 
here to collect firewood.”

“Oh, we are. But I also needed to get you away from Jack so we 
could talk,” she said simply.

Sawyer barely bit back a groan and ran his fingers through his 
hair, tugging a little in frustration. “What?”

“I need you to be aware of just how high the stakes are here. 
It could be several more hours before this baby is born and the 
pain is going to get much worse in that time. A woman’s body is 
designed to withstand the pain of childbirth, but Jack’s body 
is mostly male. If it gets to be too much for him – if he 
passes out – I may have to do an emergency c-section.”

Sawyer frowned. “Why don’t you just do it now?”

“Because we’re in the middle of a jungle, James. I won’t cut 
him open here unless I absolutely have to. His chances of 
survival are better if I don’t.”

Sawyer swallowed heavily and looked away from her piercing eyes 
for a moment, forcing back the scream clawing at his throat. 
“So what d’ya need me to do?”

She took a step closer and placed a warm, gentle hand on his 
elbow. “I need you to be calm. No matter what he says, he will 
need you for the next few hours. Even when he can’t bear to 
have anyone touch him, he will need you close by. And he will 
need you to be calm – no matter what happens or how much pain 
he’s in. He needs you to be strong right now. He needs you to 
help him get through this.”

Sawyer blew out a heavy breath. He rubbed at his eyes and 
pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s it?”

“Yes, James, that’s it. Stay with him, keep him calm and 
comfortable and remind him to breathe. Let me worry about the 
baby.” She peered intently into his eyes. “Can you do that?”

“Yeah, I got it,” Sawyer grumbled. “Let’s just get some 
firewood and get the hell back there.”

Juliet nodded reluctantly and watched Sawyer brush past her to 
pluck some of the smaller limbs from a fallen tree nearby. She 
wasn’t sure he would be the most soothing presence for Jack, 
but there wasn’t much choice. At least she could reason with 
him. Jack would likely be more difficult.

********

Kate was piling fallen logs in the middle of the clearing – 
dragged from the immediate surrounding area – when they 
returned.

“How’s he doin’,” Sawyer asked, dumping his own armful of logs 
next to her pile. 

Kate looked over at Jack on the other side of the clearing, 
pressing his hands against a sturdy tree. “He’s been pacing 
like a caged animal since you left. I’ve tried to get him to 
sit down, but he keeps saying he’s fine.”

Juliet dropped her pile of wood beside Sawyer’s. “He can move 
around as much as he wants. As long as he takes it easy and 
doesn’t stray far.”

Kate rolled her eyes. “When have we ever known Jack to take it 
easy?”

“I got it,” Sawyer grumbled. “You just worry about the fire.”

He approached Jack slowly, noting his stiff posture, growing 
sweat stains and tight muscles. He appeared to be pushing 
against the tree with all of his weight.

“Nice of you ta offer, Doc, but I think we got enough firewood 
for now.”

“Counterpressure,” Jack hissed.

“That doin’ somethin’ for ya other than givin’ you splinters?”

Jack blew out a breath, his muscles slowly relaxing. “Shut up.”

Sawyer brushed aside his instinctive annoyance at Jack’s tone, 
reaching out to lightly rub his closest shoulder. “Pain gettin’ 
bad?”

Jack groaned and straightened, turning to press his back 
against the tree, Sawyer’s hand slipping from his shoulder in 
the process. “I’m fine.”

“You gotta quit sayin’ that, Doc.”

Jack huffed and ran his hands over his bulging abdomen. “Then 
stop asking how I’m doing.”

Sawyer opened his mouth to argue, then closed it with a snort. 
Jack had a point. A small human was trying to wrench its way 
from his body and he was stuck in the jungle with no pain 
relief in sight. “Fine” was as good as could be expected and 
asking him how he was doing wouldn’t help anything. Sawyer 
reached out to cup his cheek. “What can I do?”

Jack blinked at him, somewhat surprised by the lack of 
argument. Then he hooked his arm around Sawyer’s neck and 
pulled him into a hug, his head resting on the surprised 
Southerner’s shoulder. “Stay with me,” he mumbled so quietly 
Sawyer almost didn’t hear it.

Sawyer rubbed his back gently. “Wasn’t plannin’ on goin’ 
nowhere, darlin’.”

Jack groaned softly. “Harder.”

Sawyer craned his neck around to try to see Jack’s face. 
“What?”

“My back. Rub harder.”

“Oh.” Sawyer increased the pressure as best he could from his 
angle and Jack sighed in relief. “Your back givin’ you 
trouble?”

“A little.”

Sawyer rolled his eyes. “Don’t gotta be stoic, Jack. You want 
me to help you, you gotta tell me what you need.”

Jack grunted, but otherwise remained quiet.

“Okay, well, what say we sit by the water over there and I give 
you a proper backrub? Sound good?”

Jack let go of Sawyer somewhat reluctantly and nodded, letting 
Sawyer lead him over to the spot he’d indicated. Once there, 
however, Sawyer hesitated. 

“How do you wanna...”

“Sit over there.” Jack pointed to a newly fallen tree.

Sawyer sat on the indicated spot and experienced a moment of 
surprised confusion as Jack dropped heavily to his knees in 
front of him, fitting himself between the Southerner’s legs. 
Then Jack draped his upper body across Sawyer’s thighs, his 
head resting near one hip, giving Sawyer easy access to his 
back. Sawyer took the hint and started digging the heels of his 
hands into the stiff muscles along Jack’s spine. Jack groaned 
and leaned into him a little more heavily.

Juliet was beside them minutes later, kneeling on the ground 
next to Jack, reaching beneath him to feel along his abdomen. 
“How are you doing?”

Jack muttered something that sounded profanity-laden into 
Sawyer’s thigh.

Juliet’s lips twitched slightly and she nodded to Sawyer in 
approval. “Well, it’s hard to tell for sure, but it feels like 
the baby is in occiput posterior position.”

Jack groaned.

“What the hell’s that mean in English?”

Juliet looked up at Sawyer. “The baby’s head is pointing down, 
which is good. He’s just facing the wrong direction. He should 
turn around eventually, it’ll just take longer.”

“And if he doesn’t?”

“It shouldn’t affect the delivery,” she said cryptically. She 
turned her attention from him before he could demand further 
explanation. “Jack, can you pull your pants down so I can check 
your dilation?”

Jack nodded and started to sit up, stopping half-way with a 
gasp, his hands balling into fists, nails scrapping against the 
denim of Sawyer’s jeans.

Juliet’s hand went to his lower abdomen. “Deep breaths, Jack. 
From here.”

Jack visibly struggled to follow her directions, whimpering 
softly on each exhale. 

“Try to relax,” Juliet added. “Ride it out. Don’t fight it.”

Sawyer resisted the impulse to roll his eyes. Relax? Don’t 
fight it? She really had a long way to go when it came to 
understanding Jack. He rubbed the back of Jack’s neck, feeling 
the muscles tense beneath his fingers as the pain rolled 
through Jack’s body.

When it was over, Jack sagged into Sawyer’s lap, catching his 
breath.

“Can you turn around,” Juliet asked.

Jack blew out a breath and slowly eased himself up and around, 
brushing away Juliet’s attempts to help him. He leaned back, 
letting Sawyer’s hands cradle his head, closing his eyes as 
Juliet’s hand slipped inside his underwear.

“About five centimeters,” she announced, slipping her hand free 
again. “You’re halfway there.” The look she shot Sawyer made it 
clear that this would not be the easy half.

Jack sighed and reached up to grip Sawyer’s wrist, silently 
taking comfort and strength from his presence.

*******
(Two hours later)

“Fucking bastard,” Jack snarled. “I hate you!”

“I know you do, baby,” Sawyer murmured from where he hovered a 
safe distance away. “Now shut up and breathe.”

Jack moaned and gasped, rocking back and forth on his hands and 
knees helplessly as the pain overwhelmed his senses. He had 
shoved Sawyer away three contractions earlier with a half 
coherent threat involving the removal of his manhood via one of 
Locke’s knives. Part of him was annoyed that Sawyer had 
stubbornly refused to leave him alone, but mostly he was 
grateful. He had never expected Sawyer to be so supportive – to 
stay by his side despite the verbal (and occasional physical) 
abuse. And this time, when the contraction was over, he 
realized he desperately needed that support.

“Sawyer,” he whimpered, wearily pushing himself upright, 
sitting back.

“Right here.” Sawyer appeared at his elbow suddenly, one hand 
moving to support the back of Jack’s head, the other running a 
cold, wet cloth over his face. Sawyer ducked his head, trying 
to meet Jack’s pain-glazed eyes. “You back with me now?”

Jack swallowed and nodded shakily. He fumbled to grab Sawyer’s 
shoulders and sighed with relief as the Southerner took the 
hint and pulled him into a tight embrace. “I’m sorry,” he 
moaned. “I can’t...”

Sawyer shushed him. “You’re doin’ just fine, darlin’. You’re 
doin’ real good.” He swallowed heavily and pressed a kiss to 
Jack’s temple. He felt absolutely useless and he was just 
barely restraining himself from taking his frustration out on 
Juliet and Kate. It was killing him to watch Jack suffer. 

When they had been captured by the Others, Sawyer had tortured 
himself imagining all the horrible things they could have been 
doing to Jack. Kate was safe, he knew. They put her in the cage 
right next to his. But Jack... Sawyer had imagined him strapped 
to a table while faceless goons experimented on him like some 
sort of lab rat – cutting open his veins, injecting him with 
who-knew-what, making him scream and beg them to stop. Sawyer 
imagined breaking into wherever they were holding him. He 
imagined breaking the goons’ necks and freeing Jack before 
anyone knew what had hit them. Sometimes he simply imagined 
throwing himself between Jack and the goons, acting as a 
shield, taking the abuse himself so Jack wouldn’t have to.

But there were no goons here. No tangible foe to remove. No way 
for Sawyer to take some of Jack’s pain for him. There was 
nothing he could do but hold Jack, coo a bunch of useless 
comforting words in his ear and pray it would all end soon.

“You just stay with me,” he murmured. 

“’f I don’t make it,” Jack began wearily.

Sawyer stiffened. “Don’t you fuckin’ dare,” he spit. He reached 
up to grip Jack’s head with both hands, pushing him back just 
enough so he could look him in the eyes, the washcloth tumbling 
forgotten to the ground. “I don’t care how bad it gets. You can 
hit me, kick me, scream at me, whatever you gotta do, but you 
ain’t givin’ up on me.”

Jack sighed heavily, his head dropping to Sawyer’s shoulder, 
his fingers twisting in the material of Sawyer’s shirt, 
clinging tightly. “Sawyer, please...” he murmured tiredly. “I’m 
not giving up, but we both know there’s a chance this will end 
badly. If it does...you can’t waste time trying to take me back 
to camp or...bury me. Just get the baby back to camp.”

Sawyer closed his eyes tightly as if that could block out the 
images Jack was creating in his mind – images of Jack’s blood-
stained body being torn apart by polar bears and whatever other 
wild creatures lived in the jungle. “Only way I’m leavin’ you 
is if you’re dead,” he said in a low, unsteady voice. “And 
there ain’t no way I’m lettin’ that happen.”

Jack opened his mouth, but anything he intended to say was 
forgotten as pain gripped his abdomen, ripping a low moan from 
his throat. He heard Sawyer murmur something in his ear and 
felt movement around him, but his attention was too focused 
inward to fully register any of it. Everything fell away for a 
moment – the world seeming to go fuzzy at the edges of Jack’s 
vision – and when the haze cleared he found himself laying on 
his side, his head pillowed in Sawyer’s lap. Kate hovered in 
front of him, pressing a refreshed cool rag to the back of his 
neck. He could feel Juliet’s hands gently prodding his abdomen.

“He’s awake,” Kate breathed with obvious relief.

“What happened,” he asked, dazed.

“You fainted,” Juliet said bluntly. “That’s your body’s way of 
telling you you need to *rest* between contractions.” She 
sighed. “Kate, can you bring the fruit over here?”

Kate nodded, pressing the cloth into Sawyer’s hand and hurrying 
to fetch the mangoes she and Juliet had been peeling before 
Jack had passed out.

“Not hungry,” Jack mumbled tiredly, his eyes slipping shut as 
Sawyer rubbed the back of his neck, his fingers lightly 
trembling.

“Eat it anyway. You need to keep your strength up.” She turned 
to Sawyer. “How far apart are the contractions?”

“Same’s they were before. They’re just gettin’ stronger.”

Something garbled and incomprehensible spilled past Jack’s 
lips, instantly drawing Sawyer’s attention. “What was that, 
baby?”

Juliet shook her head, pressing her finger to her lips. She 
leaned down until she was eye-level with Jack, peering intently 
at his face. She looked up at Sawyer and smiled. “He’s 
sleeping.”

Sawyer swallowed heavily, the hand he had on Jack’s arm balling 
into a fist. “You gonna have to cut into him?”

Juliet’s smile faltered and she covered his hand with her own 
in sympathy. “No. He doesn’t need to be awake for this part. We 
can let him sleep between contractions. It’s not much, but 
he’ll need all the rest he can get by the time he’s ready to 
push.”

Kate returned with a battered tin cup full of mango in time to 
hear Juliet’s assurance. She gave Sawyer a weak smile and held 
the cup out to him. “Here, you should eat too.”

“I ain’t hungry,” Sawyer grumbled, returning his attention to 
Jack, stroking his hair gently.

“James,” Juliet said in a low, warning tone. “You’ll need your 
strength too. More importantly, Jack will need your strength.”

Sawyer sighed and grabbed the cup from Kate’s still-
outstretched hand. “Fine.”

*******

Jack realized he must be delirious with pain when his father 
suddenly walked out of the jungle toward them.

“Dad,” he panted, reaching a trembling hand out toward the 
figure. 

Sawyer felt his stomach go cold. He snatched Jack’s wrist and 
clutched it to Jack’s chest, tightening his embrace. “Don’t 
even think about it,” he hissed in Jack’s ear. “You stay with 
me, damnit.”

Jack didn’t respond, his eyes fixed on the man kneeling beside 
him, smiling kindly.

“They can’t see me, Jack,” Christian explained.

“I’m sorry,” Jack blurted.

Sawyer tried to shush him and Kate rubbed the hand Sawyer 
wasn’t gripping. 

Christian smiled again but there was a flicker of something – 
sadness maybe, or even regret - in his eyes. “You have nothing 
to be sorry for, kiddo.” 

Jack couldn’t hold back a scream as pain surged through him. He 
arched and writhed in Sawyer’s grip as fire licked outward from 
his abdomen, engulfing him in a red haze. He vaguely heard 
voices trying to reassure him, including Juliet directing him 
to breathe and try not to fight it, and he wondered – not for 
the first time – if he was strong enough to survive this.

He felt his father’s cool hand rest on his abdomen as he 
resurfaced and his pain seemed to lessen a little. 

“You *are* strong enough, Jack. You will survive this. It’s not 
your time yet.” Christian watched Sawyer kiss Jack’s temple and 
murmur a few soothing words in his ear. Anyone could see the 
Southerner was frantic with worry – though he hid it well. He 
barely flinched when the next contraction came and Jack 
squeezed his hand far too tightly.

“He loves you,” Christian said plainly. “Do yourself a favor – 
don’t push him away.” He pulled his hand back from Jack’s 
abdomen and squeezed his arm gently. “I’m proud of you, kiddo. 
I trust you’ll be a better father than I was.”

He started to stand and Jack panicked, his arm flailing toward 
the specter. “No!”

Sawyer and Kate tried to soothe him. He felt their comforting 
hands on him, but he couldn’t tear his eyes from his father.

Christian caught his hand and lowered it gently. He felt 
entirely too real to be a ghost and Jack wondered if he had 
officially gone insane. “Take good care of my granddaughter, 
Jack. And keep an eye on your sister. She needs you more than 
she’s willing to admit.”

Jack frowned as his fevered brain tried to make sense of 
Christian’s words.

Christian smiled, seemed to blink back tears, and squeezed his 
hand. “You need to push now.”

The pain surged again, this time accompanied by an intense 
pressure and Jack knew he was right. “I have to push,” he 
gasped out before the pain overwhelmed his senses. He gripped 
Sawyer’s supporting arms and let out a guttural cry as he bore 
down.

“Okay, easy, Jack,” Juliet warned from between his thighs. 
“Don’t try to force it.”

Jack ignored her and strained. 

“Jack,” she snapped.

The contraction ended and Jack stopped pushing, leaning heavily 
against Sawyer and gasping for breath.

“Pushing harder is not going to deliver this baby faster, 
Jack,” Juliet scolded. 

Jack just made a pained noise and leaned further into Sawyer. 
Kate rubbed his distended abdomen lightly.

“What can we do,” she asked Juliet, feeling helpless.

“What you’re doing is fine right now,” Juliet assured her. 
“This could take a while.”

Jack’s breath caught and he stiffened, grunting as he bore down 
again.

“Breathe, Jack,” Juliet reminded him. 

A sharp cry exploded from him and Sawyer winced. “Easy,” he 
murmured in Jack’s ear. “Try to relax.”

Kate helped Jack drink when the contraction subsided, holding 
the water bottle to his lips when his hands proved to shaky. 
Then she left his side to stoke the fire, which was quickly 
becoming their only source of light.

“That’s good, Jack,” Juliet encouraged. “Just a little longer 
and you can hold your baby.”

Jack nodded absently, reaching back to grip a handful of 
Sawyer’s shirt sleeve. “Take care of her.”

Sawyer looked into his pain-glazed eyes, startled. “What?”

“Our daughter. Take ca...” he broke off with a strangled cry.

“Push,” Juliet reminded him.

Sawyer covered Jack’s hand with his. “Shh...just breathe 
darlin’.” ‘Daughter?’ he thought feverishly. ‘I thought he said 
it’d be a boy.’ His confusion was quickly thrust aside as the 
rest of Jack’s words sunk in. ‘Take care of her’. He still 
didn’t think he would survive this. “You’re doin’ good, baby,” 
Sawyer babbled. “Just hold on. It’s gonna be alright.” 

Jack moaned brokenly and sagged into Sawyer’s supporting 
embrace. “Take her...back to camp.” His back arched as another 
contraction barreled down on him and he fought to breathe and 
push at the same time. His hand gripped Sawyer’s so tightly 
that all of his knuckles turned white.

Three more contractions came and went with barely enough time 
between them for Jack to take a breath. Kate returned with a 
refreshed cool rag and washed the sweat from his face and neck, 
her soft encouragements mingling with Sawyer’s.

“I see the head,” Juliet finally announced. 

Sawyer’s eyes slipped shut for a moment in relief. “You’re 
almost there, baby,” he murmured in Jack’s ear.

Jack didn’t seem to hear him and nearly smashed Sawyer’s nose 
when another contraction came and he arched, his head snapping 
backward, landing heavily on Sawyer’s shoulder.

“Lay back a little,” Juliet instructed when Jack’s body eased 
slightly. “And when the next contraction comes, don’t push.”

Sawyer helped Jack recline a couple inches and watched, 
confused, as Juliet seemed to reach her hand inside his body. 
Jack cried out and stiffened in Sawyer’s arms.

“What the hell d’you think you’re doin’,” Sawyer barked, 
straining to hold Jack’s upper body still.

“Making sure the chord isn’t wrapped around the baby’s neck,” 
Juliet grunted, wincing in sympathy as Jack continued to wail 
like a wounded animal.

Kate cupped Jack’s face between her hands. “Jack, look at me,” 
she ordered, the panic in her voice barely controlled.

Juliet’s hand re-emerged a minute later, fingers covered in 
blood and amniotic fluid. Her relatively clean hand pressed 
gently to his lower abdomen. “Don’t push,” she repeated.

“Look at me,” Kate repeated, her voice calmer now that Jack had 
stopped shrieking. “Breathe.”

Jack’s glazed eyes met Kate’s and he struggled to copy her deep 
breathing, moaning loudly, the sound so helpless and tortured 
that Sawyer wanted to scream at Juliet to make it stop.

“That’s good, Jack. One more and then you can start pushing 
again.”

Jack writhed in Sawyer’s arms, batting away Kate’s hands. “I 
can’t,” he whimpered between gasps. “I...” His mouth opened in 
a soundless scream and his back arched.

“Don’t push,” Juliet snapped.

“Hey,” Sawyer cut in, reaching around to turn Jack’s face 
toward him. “Quit bein’ a stubborn son of a bitch and do what 
she says, would ya?”

Jack blinked at him stupidly for a moment, then let out a 
garbled yelp and pushed, unable to hold back the impulse any 
longer.

Juliet cursed under her breath. “Stop!”

Jack collapsed back into Sawyer. 

“What happened,” Sawyer demanded. 

Juliet shook her head. “It’ll be okay. Kate, get me the heated 
towel.”

Kate darted over to the fire where a scrap of cloth had been 
draped over a small tin of boiled water. She handed it to 
Juliet, her eyes widening as she caught sight of what was going 
on between Jack’s legs. “Oh my god.”

“What,” Sawyer asked anxiously.

But Kate’s wide eyes were filled with more wonder than fear 
when they met his. “Look.”

Sawyer followed her gaze and was stunned when he was able to 
catch a fleeting glimpse of the reddish-pink object emerging 
from Jack’s body.

Juliet pressed the warm cloth beneath the baby’s head and 
ordered Jack to push on the next contraction, but this time to 
do it “gently”. Jack tried, but that was difficult to do when 
every instinct told him to push the foreign invader from his 
body as quickly as possible. Kate and Sawyer helped him through 
it with gentle voices and soothing touches, but he wasn’t sure 
how much more he could take. It was for all of those reasons 
and for no reason other than the desire to have the whole 
painful ordeal over with that on the next contraction he sat up 
and pushed for all he was worth.

Juliet bit back whatever scolding remark came to mind at his 
disregard for her instructions and said simply, “the head’s 
out.” She rearranged her posture, preparing herself to catch 
the baby. “One more, Jack.”

Jack gasped and panted, his head lolling on Sawyer’s shoulder.

Sawyer stroked his cheek a little rougher than necessary, 
keeping him alert. “You’re doin’ good, baby. Stay with me.”

Jack let out a wail that sent involuntary shudders down 
Sawyer’s spine, gripped his hand bone-crushingly tight and 
pushed with all the strength he had left.

Kate and Sawyer watched, enthralled, as a slimy mass of tangled 
limbs finally slid from Jack’s body into Juliet’s waiting 
hands.

“It’s a girl,” she announced before turning the infant over and 
rubbing her back firmly with two fingers. After a long moment 
the baby made a wet gurgling noise and started to cry.

“Jesus,” Sawyer muttered under his breath. “Jack...” It wasn’t 
until that moment that Sawyer noticed Jack had gone almost 
completely limp in his arms, head resting a little too heavily 
on Sawyer’s shoulder. He tore his eyes from his newborn 
daughter, his stomach going cold when he saw Jack’s bloodless 
face and closed eyes. “Jack!”

His eyes fluttered as Sawyer jostled him, patting his cheeks 
harshly. He mumbled something that sounded a lot like an 
attempt at “I’m fine.”

Juliet quickly and efficiently sliced the umbilical cord with a 
knife and tied off the ends before handing the baby to Kate 
with murmured instructions to clean her up a bit with the 
warmed water. Kate slipped closer to the fire, holding the baby 
gingerly, as if afraid she could break her. Juliet turned back 
and began massaging Jack’s abdomen purposefully. “You’re not 
done yet, Jack. You still have to deliver the placenta.”

Jack groaned weakly. 

Juliet gave Sawyer a brittle smile. “Don’t worry. This is the 
easy part.”

“Is he gonna be all right,” Sawyer demanded, forcing himself to 
not sound as frantic as he felt. 

Juliet swiped a strand of hair from her face with the back of 
her wrist. “He has some tearing, but I can fix it. As long as 
he doesn’t pass out before he can deliver the placenta...” she 
trailed off and leaned closer, thrusting herself in Jack’s 
direct line of sight. “Jack? Do you think you can feed your 
daughter?”

Jack nodded and tried to raise a shaking hand.

“It’s okay,” Juliet said quickly. “James can hold her.” She 
gave Sawyer a pointed look.

Sawyer nodded grimly and took a deep breath, shoving his panic 
aside for the time being. He needed to keep Jack conscious, and 
the best way to do that was to keep him talking. “So I guess 
now we have to re-decorate the nursery, huh,” he said lightly.

Jack huffed, but said nothing.

“Never talked about a name...”

Jack was silent long enough for Sawyer to worry that it was too 
late already. “What was your mother’s name,” he finally asked 
weakly.

Sawyer winced. “Mary. Yours?”

“Margo.”

Sawyer was glad Jack couldn’t see his face from his position at 
that moment. He recovered quickly, but not before Juliet caught 
his expression and shot him a warning look.

“How ‘bout we call those her middle names,” he offered.

“No, it’s okay. I like Mary,” Jack mumbled.

Kate knelt beside them, the baby clutched protectively in her 
arms, bundled in Jack’s shirt. Sawyer held his arms out and she 
carefully transferred the squirming bundle into them, helping 
him position the infant against Jack’s chest. The baby 
whimpered and fussed until Jack reached one shaking hand up and 
stroked her cheek with one finger. Then she turned her face 
toward him and instantly latched on to his nipple.

“Jesus,” Sawyer breathed again. The baby was still mostly 
covered in blood-tinged goop, despite Kate’s best efforts to 
clean her and her head was misshapen. But as Jack continued to 
run his trembling fingers over her face, a tiny arm slipped 
from the folds of the shirt and five perfect fingers wrapped 
tightly around his thumb. Sawyer felt tears pool in his eyes, 
overwhelmed by the weight of the moment. This was their 
daughter. She may not have been pretty to look at – at least 
not yet – but she was theirs. Their little miracle.

“Christine,” Sawyer breathed. “Her name’s Christine.” He didn’t 
know where the idea had come from – why he would think to name 
their daughter after Jack’s *father* - but the second it left 
his lips he knew it was somehow *right*.

Jack nodded, sniffling. “Take her back to camp,” he instructed 
without looking up. “She’ll be safe there. Claire can nurse 
her.”

Kate nodded and reached out to touch Jack’s shoulder. “I’ll 
take care of her,” she promised. She gently transferred the 
child back into her arms when she’d finished feeding and nodded 
at Sawyer. Sawyer could see tears forming in her eyes as well.

Kate tucked the shirt tighter around the infant and stood, 
hooking her backpack over one shoulder before disappearing into 
the jungle. 

Jack moaned and stiffened in Sawyer’s arms.

“Okay, push,” Juliet instructed. 

Jack pushed and Sawyer tried not to flinch at the sight of the 
bloody mass of tissue that slipped into Juliet’s waiting hands. 
She inspected the thing for a few moments and nodded. “It’s 
whole.”

“Is that a good thing,” Sawyer asked, trying not to gag as she 
carefully set the thing aside. 

“Yes, James, that’s a good thing,” she said distractedly as she 
set to work at cleaning the worst of the birthing fluids from 
between Jack’s legs. “Jack, you’ve got a little bit of tearing 
here. I’m going to need to do a few stitches.”

Jack made a barely audible noise of consent and Juliet smiled 
at him in sympathy. 

“It’s okay if you need to pass out now. You’ve earned it.” She 
patted his knee and stood up to retrieve the supplies she 
needed.

Sawyer reached up with one hand to cradle Jack’s head, shifting 
his hold so he could look into Jack’s eyes. “You need to lay 
down, baby?”

Jack shook his head, blinking sluggishly, obviously struggling 
to stay awake.

Sawyer smiled fondly, though it didn’t quite conceal the 
continued worry in his eyes. He brushed his lips to Jack’s 
gently. “’s okay, darlin’. You just sleep now. I’ll be here 
when you wake up.” ‘And you *will* wake up,’ he added silently. 

Jack seemed to relax a little at that, his eyes falling shut. 
“Love you,” he slurred.

Sawyer rubbed his thumb in soothing circles on Jack’s cheek. “I 
love you too, sweetheart. ‘n I’m proud of you.”

His only indication that Jack heard his praise was a small 
grunt before his breathing evened out and deepened in sleep.

********

Jack drifted slowly back to consciousness. He experienced a 
moment of disorientation when he took stock of his surroundings 
and realized he was in the middle of the jungle with an 
uncomfortable lump cushioning his head from the ground. A 
backpack, most likely. Then he felt a dull throb in his abdomen 
and the memories came flooding back.

‘I have a daughter.’

He had resigned himself to the possibility that he might not 
survive childbirth long ago – that he might never even get to 
see his child. He had accepted it as an inevitable sacrifice. 
But now that he had seen her, touched her, felt her tiny hand 
wrap around his finger...he wanted to live. He wanted to watch 
her grow up. He wanted to teach her how to ride a bicycle and 
kiss away her tears when she fell and scraped her elbows. He 
wanted to see the joy on her face when she opened her birthday 
and Christmas presents. He wanted to be sitting in the audience 
at her high school graduation. He wanted to walk her down the 
aisle at her wedding.

Of course, all of this assumed they would get off the island. 
He thought he understood now how Michael could have betrayed 
them in order to guarantee safe passage from the island for him 
and his son. Jack couldn’t raise his daughter here. He *had* to 
find a way home.

Jack opened his eyes slowly, blinking at the early morning 
sunlight filtering down through the trees. He turned his head 
gently to one side and smiled as he saw Sawyer curled beside 
him, sleeping. There was a time when he’d been frustrated by 
the fact that he was always up and ready to start the day long 
before Sawyer. Now he found he kind of enjoyed watching the 
Southerner sleep. He looked so youthful and innocent in his 
sleep – so beautiful. And if Jack touched him in just the right 
way – kissed him in just the right spots – he could usually get 
Sawyer to wake up with a sleepy smile and a husky “mornin’, 
Doc” instead of his former crankiness no matter how early it 
was.

“Sawyer.” Jack winced at the raspy whisper that barely 
resembled his voice.

Sawyer twitched slightly but didn’t awaken. 

Jack toyed with the idea of letting him sleep, but his bladder 
demanded immediate attention. He reached over and ran his 
fingers gently down Sawyer’s arm, calling his name again.

Sawyer came awake with a jolt, instinctively slapping Jack’s 
hand away and reaching for his gun. He froze and blinked at 
Jack for a moment as the sleepy confusion on his face gradually 
gave way to horror. “Christ, did I hurt you?” He leaned over 
Jack, his hands hovering over his body hesitantly.

“No, it’s okay,” Jack reassured him.

Sawyer winced at the ragged, strained sound of Jack’s voice. He 
cupped Jack’s cheek carefully with one hand. “What is it, Doc? 
Whaddya need?”

Jack couldn’t hold back a tiny smile at the tender concern 
Sawyer showed for him. He would deny it if anyone pointed it 
out, of course. But while he may still act like a prickly 
conman around everyone else, with Jack he had become more open 
and honest over the past few months. “I have to pee,” Jack 
mumbled.

Sawyer blew out a breath in relief. “I’ll get the can...”

Jack clutched his wrist as he started to get up. “No. We need 
that for sterilizing. Just...help me up.”

Sawyer frowned. “But Blondie said you shouldn’t be movin’.”

Jack groaned. “I don’t need to go far. Just on the other side 
of the tree line.” He pointed to the trees surrounding the 
clearing. “I’ll be fine if you help me.”

Sawyer hesitated, clearly reluctant to disregard Juliet’s 
orders.

Jack rubbed the inside of Sawyer’s wrist with his thumb. 
“Please.”

Sawyer sighed. “Fine. Can you sit up?”

Jack nodded and gripped Sawyer’s proffered hands, slowly 
pulling himself upright. He moaned as a dull pain stabbed 
between his legs.

Sawyer froze instantly. “You sure ‘bout this?”

“It’s okay. It’s normal.”

Sawyer’s jaw clenched and he stared at Jack with a look that 
clearly said ‘don’t fuck with me’.

Jack sighed. “I just went through nearly fifteen hours of labor 
and pushed what I’m pretty sure was at least a nine-pound baby 
from an orifice I shouldn’t technically have. I would be 
worried if it *didn’t* hurt.”

Sawyer grunted and helped Jack climb slowly to his feet without 
further comment. Jack leaned on him heavily, barely managing to 
swallow the whimpers and moans clawing at his throat.

Sawyer drew Jack’s arm over his shoulders, clamped his other 
arm tightly around Jack’s waist, and slowly guided him across 
the clearing.

“Where’s Juliet?” Jack panted.

“Followin’ the trail Kate left, tryin’ to find the next water 
stop. Said if it was close enough maybe we couldn’t start 
movin’ you. Guess it ain’t.” His jaw tightened a little. He 
didn’t like the idea of staying out in the jungle, so far away 
from Jack’s medical supplies. He would have started carrying 
Jack further down the trail already if Juliet hadn’t insisted 
they had to stay close to a water supply.

“How long’s she been gone?”

Sawyer caught the alarm in Jack’s voice. “s’okay, she’s got the 
rifle. And believe me, she knows how to use it.”

Jack opened his mouth to reply, but only ended up letting out a 
high whine as the pain that had been manageable only moments 
before suddenly flared.

Sawyer stopped moving as Jack stumbled. “What happened?”

Jack shook his head, eyes screwed tightly shut.

Sawyer supported him as he bent nearly in half. He cursed and 
quickly judged the distance to the nearest large tree. “This’s 
close enough. Just a couple more steps.” He slowly guided Jack 
toward the tree. 

Jack leaned against the thick trunk, fingers curling against 
the bark, the position very similar to the one Sawyer had found 
him in when he’d returned from gathering wood hours earlier. 

Sawyer pressed against his back, wrapping his arms around his 
middle, careful to avoid his abdomen. “You need to lay down?”

Jack shook his head and leaned back into Sawyer’s hold. The 
pain was dying down a little, becoming manageable again, but he 
still felt like his insides were twisting into knots. “No,” he 
gasped. “Just help me.” He reached one hand to fumble with the 
button on the jeans Sawyer had helped him into only hours ago – 
along with the ill-fitting extra t-shirt.

Sawyer brushed his hand away. “Just hold on.”

Jack swallowed a whimper and resumed his position, both hands 
pressed to the tree for support as Sawyer unzipped his pants. 
He felt Sawyer’s lips brush his neck in a helpless gesture of 
comfort as he emptied his bladder and tears of pain and 
frustration pooled in his eyes. “I don’t think I can walk 
back,” he choked. The pain may have diminished, but the thought 
of walking more than two steps further was agonizing.

Sawyer winced. He had fully expected an argument when he 
offered to carry Jack back to the clearing. He knew Jack must 
be in more pain than he was admitting to. “’s okay, baby, I can 
carry you.”

He felt wetness on his fingers as he tucked Jack back into his 
underwear and glanced down, wincing again. “You’re bleedin’.”

“It’s normal,” Jack said quickly.

“I know.” Juliet had already warned him. “Turn around.”

Jack slowly turned around, his movements stiff, and wrapped his 
arms around Sawyer’s neck.

“Hold on...” Sawyer’s muscles screamed in protest as he swept 
Jack into his arms. He may have lost nine pounds recently, but 
Jack was still damn heavy. “It’s okay,” Sawyer grunted when 
Jack made a small, pained noise. “I got you.”

Worry drove Sawyer to move faster, and they were back at the 
campsite in a fraction of the time it took them to walk to the 
tree line. Sawyer set Jack back on his feet, then slowly helped 
him lower himself to the ground, wincing as he groaned and 
hissed in pain.

Jack’s eyes clenched shut as Sawyer rearranged the backpack 
beneath his head. He reached for Sawyer’s hand when he’d 
finished fusing, clinging tightly.

Sawyer watched Jack anxiously, trying not to look scared out of 
his mind when Jack finally blinked up at him. “I’m gonna have 
to change the bandage, darlin’.”

Jack winced and nodded.

“I’m sorry...”

“Just do it. Please.”

Sawyer clenched his jaw and nodded, letting go of Jack to 
retrieve the cloth Juliet had left by the fire after 
‘sterilizing’ it hours earlier.

Jack breathed deeply, swallowing a whimper as Sawyer tugged his 
pants and underwear down and replaced the cloth Juliet had 
pressed to the stitched tear.

“You okay?”

Jack nodded, eyes closed, face pinched. 

Sawyer knew better than to believe that. He hurriedly replaced 
Jack’s clothing, brushing aside Jack’s trembling attempts to 
assist. Then he pressed himself to Jack’s side, arms curling 
around him protectively.

Jack made a few half-stifled noises of distress and clutched at 
Sawyer’s arm, fingers twisting and pulling at the fabric of his 
shirt. The pain was diminishing back to a dull throb, but now 
the fear was settling in his mind. Women who died giving birth 
didn’t always die while delivering the baby, he knew. Many died 
from complications after the fact.

“I don’t wanna die,” he blurted.

“Don’t you talk like that,” Sawyer scolded, his voice thick. 
“You ain’t gonna die.”

Jack shook his head. “I need antibiotics. I need...”

“Shh...” Sawyer’s hand came up to cradle Jack’s head, thumb 
rubbing his cheek firmly. “We’ll get ‘em. You’re gonna be just 
fine.” Sawyer cursed Juliet’s absence in that moment. She would 
know what to say and do. He was trying to be strong for Jack’s 
sake, but he was scared out of his mind. He had thought that 
the worst part was over, but Jack was still in pain, still 
terrified and still in very real danger of dying and leaving 
Sawyer all alone to care for their baby.

Their baby...

Sawyer knew Christine wasn’t his daughter by blood. Juliet’s 
calculations had confirmed what Jack had begun to suspect 
midway through the pregnancy – she had been conceived before 
the island.

And yet...

Sawyer had been there throughout Jack’s pregnancy. The morning 
sickness, the mood swings, the aches and pains, the joy and 
wonder. He thought about the mornings and nights when he had 
lain with his stomach pressed against Jack’s just so he could 
feel the baby moving around, kicking. Boone Carlisle may have 
been Christine’s biological father, but Sawyer was her father 
in every other sense.

A twig snapped nearby and Sawyer jumped, reaching for the gun 
tucked beneath the backpack and pointing it in the direction of 
the sound.

“James,” Juliet’s voice called tentatively from the tree line.

Sawyer relaxed and set the gun on the ground. 

Juliet emerged into the clearing, frowning as she took in the 
sight of Sawyer crouched over an obviously distressed Jack. She 
dropped her backpack and rifle beside the fire and knelt 
opposite Sawyer. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” Sawyer muttered.

Juliet pressed gently against Jack’s abdomen. “Just breathe, 
Jack. Did you let him stand up?”

It took Sawyer a moment to register that she was talking to him 
even though her attention seemed completely focused on Jack. 
“He had to piss.”

Juliet stopped her gentle explorations to shoot him a 
disapproving look.

“I told him it was okay,” Jack said before she could even open 
her mouth to scold Sawyer.

Juliet’s jaw tightened and she seemed to struggle to reign 
herself in for a moment. By the time she turned to Jack, her 
frustration had all but evaporated. “You’re having afterbirth 
pains, Jack. Just try to relax.”

“What does that mean,” Sawyer demanded.

“His uterus is contracting,” Juliet explained calmly, her 
explorations turning into a more purposeful massage of Jack’s 
abdomen.

“Is that normal?”

“Yes, James, it’s normal. It should go away in a couple days.”

Sawyer sucked in a breath and tamped down the impulse to scream 
at her. A couple *days*? “Wha’do we do?”

Juliet gave him a look that reminded Sawyer of the expression 
his mother used to get right before saying something like 
‘y’see? *This* is why you’re not s’possed to play with 
matches!’ “Just try to keep him comfortable and *don’t* let him 
walk around anymore.”

“That’s it?”

“Kate will be bringing meds back with her. Until then, there’s 
nothing more we can do.”

Sawyer opened his mouth, but any thought he may have had about 
her plan was cut off as Jack’s hand slipped into his and 
squeezed. He turned to look at Jack, surprised to find him 
mostly calm again.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, giving Sawyer a weak smile.

Sawyer’s chest ached at the look on Jack’s face. It was obvious 
he was still scared, but now he was forcing that fear back 
beneath the surface, beneath a mask of stubborn stoicism.

‘No,’ Sawyer thought. ‘It ain’t okay.’ But he just smiled 
weakly and squeezed Jack’s hand back, nodding.

***********

The fever started that afternoon. By nightfall, Jack was 
weaving in and out of consciousness. When he was awake and 
lucid, he would join in Sawyer’s rambling speculations about 
their daughter’s future – a line of conversation Sawyer hoped 
would strengthen his will to fight. But then there were times 
Jack would drift and begin talking to and pleading with people 
who weren’t there...people like his father and Boone.

Add to all of this afterbirth pains that had Jack whimpering 
and writhing in discomfort at irregular intervals and Sawyer 
was just about ready to tear his hair out in frustration.

“She’ll have a big ole’ expensive weddin’,” he murmured, 
dabbing a cool cloth against Jack’s forehead and cheek. Jack 
had stopped responding back when they had been discussing 
Christine’s future as the most brilliant doctor St. Sebastian’s 
had hired since Jack walked in the door. “She’ll have pretty 
little white flowers decoratin’ her hair and a dress that costs 
more than both of us could make in a month. ‘Course you’ll cry 
when you give her away. Hell, I’ll prob’ly cry too.” He 
hesitated as Jack mumbled something, voice barely louder than a 
breath. He leaned closer until he could feel Jack’s breath on 
his ear. “What was that, darlin’?”

Jack said something that was mostly unintelligible, but Sawyer 
thought he could just faintly make out two words: “my sister”.

Sawyer sighed and pressed his lips to Jack’s cheek. “I ain’t 
lettin’ you go, Doc,” he murmured. “Not ‘til you’re old and 
gray.”

He stilled as a sound came from the jungle on the other side of 
the clearing and instinctively reached for the pistol tucked in 
the back of his jeans. Juliet heard the noise too and was 
already shouldering the rifle.

Sawyer heard a distant voice and saw Juliet relax, lowering her 
weapon. He didn’t relax himself until Kate emerged from the 
jungle, Sayid two steps behind her.

Kate and Juliet huddled beside the fire, sorting through 
various pill bottles Kate had raided from Jack’s medical stash 
back at camp. Sayid crouched beside Jack.

“Never thought I’d be so glad to see you,” Sawyer greeted.

Sayid nodded in acknowledgment. “How is he?”

“Not so good...”

Jack stirred awake at the sound of their voices and tried to 
sit up. Sawyer pressed him back down. Jack squinted up at them. 
“Sayid...”

Sayid caught one of his hands and squeezed. “I am here, my 
friend.”

“Christine...”

Sayid smiled. “She is safe. You have a beautiful daughter, 
Jack.”

Jack nodded gratefully. Then his lips pulled back in a grimace 
as his attempts at movement brought on a fresh bout of pain.

“Easy, darlin’,” Sawyer murmured, pressing a hand to Jack’s 
forehead, wincing at the heat emanating from the doctor’s skin. 

Kate appeared beside Sayid suddenly, a handful of pills in one 
palm, a bottle of water in the other. Sawyer was moving before 
she had a chance to open her mouth, pressing the washcloth he 
had been using to battle Jack’s fever into Sayid’s hands and 
gently coaxing Jack into an upright position, leaning back 
against his chest. Soft, pained whimpers escaped Jack’s lips 
despite his obvious efforts to hold them in. The fact that he 
took all of the pills Kate handed him without comment – 
swallowing them almost eagerly – betrayed just how much pain he 
was in anyway.

“Kate, can you help me here?” Juliet knelt beside Jack’s hip, a 
couple airline blankets in her hands.

The two women managed to strip Jack from the waist down and 
slide a blanket beneath his hips with little help from him. 
Juliet returned to the campfire while Kate arranged a second 
blanket across Jack’s lap, gently directing him to bend his 
knees. Juliet returned moments later with a handful of cloth 
and a bottle of what looked like alcohol. She smiled 
sympathetically at him as she knelt between his thighs. 

“This might sting a little.”

Sawyer couldn’t see what she was doing with the blanket in the 
way, but he felt Jack flinch and heard the involuntary his as 
she tended to his torn skin. Kate winced and rubbed his arm in 
sympathy.

Sayid knelt opposite Kate, handing Sawyer the all-but-forgotten 
washcloth back and gathered Jack’s hands between his own, 
digging his thumbs purposefully into the base of the doctor’s 
palm.

“What’re you doin’,” Sawyer demanded – a little snippier than 
was probably necessary. It had been nearly forty-eight hours 
since Jack had gone into labor and the frustration of taking 
care of him when nothing he did seemed to actually help was 
taking its toll.

“Pressure points,” Sayid replied calmly, making wider circles, 
massaging Jack’s wrist.

The hand Sayid wasn’t holding reached for Sawyer’s. “It’s 
okay,” Jack murmured tiredly. 

The fact that *Jack* was the one trying to soothe him sobered 
Sawyer and he finally understood why Juliet had been so 
concerned before when they had first learned Jack was in labor. 
He was no good to Jack if he wasn’t taking care of himself 
first. Jack had enough problems without having to worry about 
what this whole thing was doing to Sawyer.

"Freckles, can you take 'im? I gotta take a leak."

It was an obvious lie, but Kate seemed to understand easily and 
slid over to support Jack's upper body in her lap, soothing his 
forehead as he made tiny noises of discomfort.

Sawyer let his fingers brush Jack's cheek, nodding as Jack's 
feverish eyes met his. Jack blinked blearily at him, but seemed 
to understand. 

Sawyer stumbled to his feet and disappeared into the jungle 
without another word.

*******************

Juliet followed Sawyer once she had Jack settled. She found him 
in a clearing a couple hundred yards in, sitting up against a 
tree, folded over himself, his head on his knees. She sat 
beside him gingerly and waited, eyeing the bloody scrape on the 
back of his hand and deciding the bones beneath it didn't 
*look* broken. When he finally looked up at her, her heart 
ached. He looked exhausted, defeated. His eyes were bloodshot 
and swollen from crying. His voice, when he spoke, was ragged, 
as if he had been screaming himself hoarse.

"He's dyin', ain't he?"

"He's fighting," she said simply.

He snorted and let his head drop dejectedly back against the 
tree.

“I know that doesn’t sound reassuring right now, but it *is* a 
good thing. We’ve got him on antibiotics for the infection. As 
long as he keeps fighting, he is strong enough to survive 
this.”

Sawyer closed his eyes – his face still tilted toward the sky – 
and breathed deeply.

Juliet reached tentatively for his bloodied hand, gently 
resting her fingers on his wrist, afraid to go any lower and 
aggravate the raw looking cuts. Sawyer responded by turning his 
hand over and gripping her hand so hard she could feel the 
bones in her fingers rub together uncomfortably. He didn’t move 
otherwise and he didn’t open his eyes.

Juliet didn’t say anything more. She just sat with him for a 
long time, squeezing his hand back.

**************

They moved slowly the next day, Sawyer and Sayid carrying Jack 
between them on a crude stretcher which Jack nearly rolled 
right off of in his sleep. Kate and Juliet acted as sentries, 
walking close to Jack so they could check on him every few 
minutes or so, but keeping most of their attention on the 
jungle, weapons held at ready to defend their group from any 
threat.

They stopped when they reached a small river. While Sayid and 
Juliet set up camp and restocked their water supply, Kate 
helped Sawyer bathe Jack. Juliet had insisted it would help 
with his healing stitches as well as keep him cool and 
comfortable.

Jack revived when he was in the water and blinked up at them, 
crouched over him in their underwear. The late afternoon 
sunlight coming through the trees created a halo effect around 
their heads. It was such a strange sight that it made him 
giggle.

"Just relax, Doc," Sawyer murmured. 

Jack felt the arms supporting him tighten a little - Sawyer's. 
Which meant the hands running the wet cloth over his arms 
belonged to Kate. "'m I dreaming?"

"No, baby."

"Look like angels," he muttered as his eyes slid shut. He was 
tired and that light shining through the trees was making his 
eyes hurt.
 
He missed the worried look Sawyer and Kate exchanged.

Kate gently rested the arm she had been washing on Jack's upper 
abdomen. "Jack, are you in pain?"

He was quiet for a long time. Long enough for them to wonder if 
he hadn't fallen back into unconsciousness.

"Doc," Sawyer called softly.

"'m here," Jack said in a small voice.

"That's good. C'n you open your eyes for me, baby?"

"Light hurts."

"It's okay," Kate said, reaching to support his neck with one 
hand while she ran the cloth gently over his hair and face. 
"You don't have to. Do you have a headache?"

Jack hummed an acknowledgement, relaxing into Sawyer's arms, 
focusing on the feel of Kate's soft hands and the blessedly 
cool water they smoothed over his skin. He drifted for a while, 
feeling like he was floating, listening to their voices as they 
murmured to each other, unconcerned with the actual words they 
were saying, just letting the soothing sounds lull him.

He was half asleep when he was lifted from the water and 
carried back to shore. Gentle hands coaxed him to take pills, 
the voices making encouraging noises as he complied. He thought 
he felt Sawyer's lips brush his forehead as he drifted back to 
the inviting, pain-free darkness of sleep.

***********

The next time Jack was aware of his surroundings he could hear 
waves crashing on the beach. He blinked as the inside of 
Sawyer's tent swam into focus, struggling to keep his eyes 
open. He heard a noise on the other side of the tent and 
strained to make out what it was. Sawyer slept with his back to 
the chunk of fuselage that made up the far wall of the shelter, 
half curled around a tiny bundle in the blanket-covered sand. 

Christine. The noise he'd heard had come from his daughter. 

She made the noise again and Sawyer came awake with a start, 
looking around frantically for a moment before his eyes settled 
on Jack. A slow smile spread across his face.  "You're awake." 
His voice was rough.

"Yeah," Jack rasped.

Sawyer grunted and moved to sit up. Christine whimpered in 
protest. "Yeah, I know, darlin'," he muttered. "Come on."  He 
half-shuffled toward Jack with Christine cradled in one arm and 
laid her gently on his chest, face down.

Jack instinctively reached for her, wrapping his hands over her 
tiny body protectively. She snuffled and drifted to sleep 
almost immediately, her ear pressed to his chest, drooling onto 
his skin.

"Guess that's all she needed," Sawyer murmured, running his 
fingers along her face reverently.

Jack finally looked at Sawyer, taking in the exhaustion 
practically coming off him in waves. "How bad?"

Sawyer shook his head and reached for a blanket, pulling it 
around both Jack and Christine. "This okay?"

Jack nodded. 

Sawyer cradled Jack's face between his palms and kissed him - a 
desperate kiss full of relief and a barely restrained sort of 
rough possessiveness. "Don't you ever do that t'me again," he 
said in a low, strained voice, his forehead pressed to Jack's, 
warm breath spilling over his face.

Jack freed one hand from the blankets and reached for Sawyer, 
tangling weak fingers in his hair, pulling him in for another, 
gentler kiss. His mind was still too sluggish to form the sort 
of response he would like to give Sawyer - that he couldn't 
make such a promise, but he understood the stress and emotional 
pain he had gone through with this experience and he would 
gladly do anything in his limited power to keep him from going 
through it again. So he simply nodded.

Sawyer curled up against him, one arm slung across his waist 
just below Christine's swaddled feet, head pillowed on Jack's 
shoulder, and drifted into an exhausted sleep.

Jack closed his eyes and listened to sound of his daughter's 
breathing, felt Sawyer's own warm breaths spill across his 
throat, until he too succumbed to a healing sleep, safely 
cocooned in the warmth of the two people who meant the most to 
him.


THE END