Title: His Jack
Author: Diandra Hollman
E-Mail: diandrahollman@gmail.com
Website: http://diandrahollman.tripod.com
LJ: http://diandrahollman.livejournal.com
Date Finished: 7/2/2009 (Technically. Midnight counts as 
    tomorrow, right?)
Rating: NC-17
Keywords: Slash, Jack/Sawyer, Juliet POV, voyeurism
Spoilers: Maybe for mid season 5, but mostly negligible.
Disclaimer: I don’t own them. I only wish I could make 
    money from this.
Archive: I’m posting to four livejournals. If anyone knows 
    of another archive somewhere that I could put this, 
    feel free to let me know.
Summary: Juliet has an epiphany.
Dedication: To my fellow slashers who love Juliet but still 
    feel Jack is a better match for Sawyer. :)
Author's Notes: Yay, I am still capable of writing one-
    shots! :D This is pretty roughly edited so forgive me   
    for any mistakes. I really just want to get it out of 
    my hands so my muse isn’t distracted by it anymore.


His Jack
By Diandra Hollman


It feels wrong and dirty to be watching this but you can’t 
bring yourself to walk away. You console yourself that it’s 
just simple curiosity – not jealousy or desire – that keep you 
rooted to this spot in the shadows of the dark hallway. You 
know it’s ridiculous, but you can’t help but wonder what you 
might have done to keep Sawyer from straying. Deep down you 
understand. You may have had him for three years, but he was 
never really yours. It wasn’t your fault. You just weren’t 
Jack.

Jack moans as a particularly violent thrust nearly sends his 
head crashing into the headboard. Sawyer doesn’t apologize – 
doesn’t even break rhythm. Jack doesn’t seem to mind. He just 
tightens his already white-knuckle grip on the headboard and 
arches back to meet the punishing thrusts. 

You know this is far from the first time they have done this. 
The familiarity with which they touch each other - the bruises 
and bite marks on Jack’s body - are a testament to that.

Jack whimpers and shifts his body and your eyes are drawn to 
his cock, hanging neglected between his legs. It looks 
painfully swollen, straining toward his abdomen, begging to be 
touched. Jack can’t do anything about it without risking 
concussion and Sawyer doesn’t seem overly concerned with Jack’s 
pleasure. You imagine going in there and taking it in your 
mouth, pushing Jack over the edge, tasting the pearly drops 
oozing from his tip to glisten in the dim bedroom light. The 
thought is somewhat surprising as you’ve never thought of Jack 
in anything more than platonic terms – no matter how he may 
have once thought of you. But he looks so beautiful – so wanton 
– writhing beneath Sawyer’s body that any pure thoughts are 
shattered.

Sawyer comes suddenly, disrupting your thoughts. Jack cries out 
as Sawyer’s teeth sink into his shoulder. 

The Southerner sags against Jack, panting, and gently kisses 
the angry bitemark he has just left.

Jack makes an impatient noise and squirms. “Sawyer...please.”

Sawyer responds by pulling out so abruptly that he gasps, 
flipping him over and dragging him down the bed until he’s flat 
on his back with Sawyer between his wide-flung legs.

You think you can see Jack’s thigh muscles quiver as Sawyer 
swallows his throbbing length. You certainly don’t miss the way 
he arches his back in pleasure or the uninhibited noises that 
spill from his lips. His hands tangle in Sawyer’s long, tousled 
hair and Sawyer growls, the sound sending a shiver down your 
spine. You can only imagine what the vibration of it feels like 
for Jack.

Sawyer’s hands move between Jack’s legs and Jack whimpers, his 
knees falling open wide, unable, seemingly, to even gather 
enough coordination to thrust. He comes with soft, gasping 
breaths, his body trembling helplessly.

Sawyer nurses him through it, only letting up when Jack’s hands 
fall from his head, flopping boneless to the bed. Sawyer slowly 
lets Jack’s wasted cock slip from his lips. He presses a gentle 
kiss to Jack’s hip and runs his fingers over the hand-shaped 
bruises he finds there in apology.

“These hurt,” he asks so softly you could almost believe you 
imagined it.

“No,” Jack breathes just as softly.

Sawyer moves to press tender kisses to Jack’s sweat-slick 
abdomen and you are struck by the reverence of the gesture. 
It’s almost as if he’s worshipping Jack’s body. The abrupt 
shift from animalistic fucking to loving petting throws you. 
You knew they were attracted to each other but you didn’t 
realize it was more than just a physical relationship.

Sawyer murmurs something so quietly that you can’t make out the 
words, but it seems to make Jack shiver. Then Jack’s hands 
reach for Sawyer’s head again, fingers tunneling through his 
hair, tipping his chin upward. They stare at each other for a 
moment and Jack whispers “come here.”

Sawyer crawls up Jack’s body and lets the former doctor pull 
him into a gentle, affirming kiss. After a minute Sawyer breaks 
away and lays beside Jack, head resting on his broad chest.

Jack’s fingers continue to comb through Sawyer’s hair, gently 
pushing strands from his face. He lifts his chin to kiss the 
top of Sawyer’s head and sighs, wrapping his arms around your 
former lover’s shoulders.

Understanding comes to you in a blaze of realization and you 
wonder how you didn’t see it before. The violence of their 
coupling – while it made perfect sense to you – was actually 
the one part of this encounter that was most out of place. It 
was probably a result of some frustrations Sawyer had to deal 
with in his role as leader of their small band within the 
Dharma Initiative. He needed to vent and who better to 
understand that need than the man who had unwillingly become 
the leader of forty-eight plane crash survivors overnight. You 
wonder if Sawyer similarly absorbed Jack’s emotional fallout 
back then. Did he let Jack cry on his shoulder? Fuck away his 
pain? Did Sawyer hold him while he fell apart on the inside? 
Did he take the shattered pieces of Jack’s psyche and put them 
back together?

He did, you realize, recalling the way Sawyer had stood 
steadfast at Jack’s side despite the abuse he seemed to receive 
from the good doctor. You always thought they had a 
dysfunctional sort of friendship, but now you realize their 
relationship was – is - more complicated and reciprocal than it 
appeared.

You are surprised to find that you are not jealous. You envy 
them – the unconditional love and support they show each other. 
The way they have defied all odds to be together again. 
Besides, deep down you knew you never *had* Sawyer – not 
really. You were just there when he came crawling out of the 
ocean away from the wrecked freighter. You were there when he 
came to terms with the knowledge that his lover was most likely 
dead. You pulled the shattered pieces of his heart back 
together and gave him comfort and companionship. 

You were his Jack.


THE END